Soon after I adopted Gadget, he was on my bed, sort of lying in my lap — as much as a 70-pound dog can — and I was rubbing his belly. So, his back was against my front.
I leaned forward to kiss him on the top of the head.
At the same time, he decided to throw his head back to give me a kiss.
In other words, top of dog skull moves up and back at high velocity, while human cartilaginous nose comes down at slow velocity.
Result? Broken nose. (Mine, not Gadget’s.)
I never got it x-rayed, but I got my nose broken during a field hockey game in high school, and this felt the same, and actually hurt several weeks longer, than the hairline fracture I got from the ball-to-the nose. So, I’m pretty certain Gadget did break it. (There’s no treatment for a hairline break of the schnoz, so there was no point in finding out if it’s broken or not.)
Bouviers do not tend to be kissy dogs, but like all dogs, they are more kissy when they are young.
I have intentionally encouraged kissiness in Barnum, and put it on cue, because I like it. I also think it could be useful for certain future service skills.
Gentle, low-velocity side kisses = safe.
Recently, I was grooming Barnum, which I do on the floor. He is always thrilled when a human gets on the floor with him.
I had my head tilted down, murmuring endearments and brushing. He was suddenly overcome with the need to express his love.
He thrust his head up to kiss me.
Top of dog skull collides with underside of chin of human. Human’s mouth snaps shut. Teeth bite into tongue — on both sides. Ow.
Lightening-quick kiss-attack = hazard. Proceed with caution!
Barnum is definitely following in the paw prints of his predecessor: Official Hindrance Dog.
Ain’t love grand?
– Sharon, the muse of Gadget (I was young and in love! So sue me!), and Barnum (She’s the one who’s always saying, “Kisses!” Sheesh.)
After Gadget 