Waspish Wednesday: “Waspish,” not “WASPish”

I don’t have time to write a real Waspish Wednesday post today, because I’ve been working my buns off all week on Heather’s auction, which I posted about on Monday.

There’s a topic I’ve really been wanting to cover for a Waspish Wednesday, especially this month, because it pertains to multiple chemical sensitivity, and May is MCS Awareness Month. However, it’s a pretty delicate subject, so I don’t want to hurry through it and do a clumsy job.

Instead, I thought I’d clear the air, because I just found out last night that Betsy thought “Waspish Wednesday” was me making fun of our dominant culture. In other words, she thought it was WASPish Wednesday.

And, yes, I frequently am making fun of the dominant culture, but that wasn’t my angle.

Anyway, Betsy had never heard the term, “waspish,” before, and that got me thinking that probably she’s not the only one.

No, no, no, dear people. According to the Free Online Dictionary, here is the definition of “waspish”:

1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of a wasp.
2. Easily irritated or annoyed; irascible.
3. Indicative of irritation, annoyance, or spite: a waspish remark.

waspish·ly adv.
waspish·ness n.

Or, according to the American Heritage Dictionary:

waspish [ˈwɒspɪʃ]
adj
1. relating to or suggestive of a wasp
2. easily annoyed or angered

I hope that clears up any confusion. Because, frankly, you don’t have to look far to make fun of WASPs. Just consider the percentage of comedians who are Jewish or African-American or Catholic or otherwise not white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants. The material writes itself. I should know. My only ever serious relationships before Betsy (who is a total WASP) were both daughters of Episcopal priests! (Although, one was a woman of color, so she couldn’t have been considered a WASP, but her father sure was!)

Question: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Two. One to call the electrician, and one to mix the martinis.

Question: What does a WASP make for dinner?

Answer: Reservations.

Question: How does a WASP call her kids to dinner?

Answer: Kids! Get in the car!

Those are some canned jokes I picked up in high school or college. Just to show you how easy it is, I’ll make some up on the spot:

Question: How does a WASP laugh uproariously?

Answer: “Heh.”

Question: How does a WASP tell you off for being a jerk by making fun of her religious/ethnic heritage?

Answer: [             ] <– That’s the sound of silence

Anynoodle, enough jokes at the expense of my girlfriend/exes. I also don’t have time to rant about anything today. I am working on two other posts, both of which I’m aiming to publish tonight!

My only gripe at the moment is that I am on “moderation duty” late at night and the wee hours of the morning, because I keep very odd hours. And nobody ever bids at that time. Ever. The bids usually come in in the morning or around mid-day, and then maybe a couple in the evening. I sit around at two-, three-, four ‘o clock in the morning, and it’s very boring.

So, if you are planning on bidding (the auction closes this Sunday, so if you haven’t stopped by yet, don’t delay forever), and you also keep very odd hours, please put in your bid at 2:00 in the morning (Eastern Time), alright?

That is all.

– Sharon, Gadget (who was a Jewish dog), and Barnum (who isn’t old enough yet to make those kinds of decisions)

Woops! No, it isn’t! Massive postscript that just came to me before I was going to hit send. I shit you not.

True story: Monday, Heather posted a very brief status update on FaceBook, mentioning that her friends were holding a fundraiser for her, and followed it with this uber-WASPish anti-promotion:

‎(i’m a little shy about promoting this, but feel free to share the link if you’d like.)

With parentheses, and everything! Oy!

So, I used my excellent Jewish upbringing of self-deprecating humor and guilt-tripping to push on her Protestant-work-ethic guilt buttons:

Heather, please do promote it! Think of how bad all your friends who have donated will feel if nobody bids on our stuff! Or the bids are really low. :-(( Oh, poor, poor your dedicated friends. ::guilt, guilt, guilt:: Really, for the sake of the people who love you, you MUST promote the hell outta this, OK?

Heather’s responses. . . .

This:

awesome use of my protestant work-ethic-guilt for good, sharon. 🙂 🙂 ♥ ♥

Followed by this:

okay friends, please share the link!! the incredible folks who put together this auction – and Sharon Wachsler was instrumental in organizing it and has a couple kickass items/services up for bid – deserve to have their hard work and monumental kindness recognized! 🙂

So, there it is — a truly WASPish self-promotion (which, hopefully you now see is a contradiction in terms). Heather promotes the auction (which is for her benefit), because her friends deserve to have their hard work recognized!

Ah, WASPs. Life could never be so sweet (and polite and quiet and self-effacing) with them! Much love to the WASPs in my life! (Must be my incredible drive and motivation that makes me keep hooking up with them, in order to get them to laugh hard!)